Since I unfortunately don't keep a journal I thought I'd write down some random thoughts I've been having lately . . . just so they are down somewhere.
On a post I wrote to celebrate our 4th anniversary this year one of my friends (okay, it was Lolohea lol) commented something about us being a "perfect family". I know she was being sarcastic, but it made me think. Though I try to keep an adequate record of our family I realize I tend to only blog about the good and omit the bad. I don't do it on purpose - I try not to be misleading but since I usually only blog about the "fun" things we do, I never really get a chance to mention the not so fun things we go through too. Now, while I've never been one to let all my drama hang out, I do think that the bad is just as much a part of our experience as a couple/family/person on this earth as the good is.
I don't have a perfect marriage (is there such a thing?). . . and this thought used to frustrate me a little. Before I was married, I always just assumed I would have a perfect marriage someday. When Wayne and I were dating, my assumption grew more certain. I thought, "Wow. This guy is practically perfect. He goes so well with practically perfect me!" LOL Yeah, I was pretty naive. Anyways, what we've found is that while we do have a very good relationship, a good marriage takes work, effort and humility . . . and while we do have a lot of great times, we have our share of hard times too.
Okay, this is what brought this all to mind - Recently I was reading a blurb about Larry H. Miller's autobiography, Driven. Miller was an extremely successful Utah businessman and philanthropist - he owned the Utah Jazz and several car dealerships and movie theaters among other things - and he passed away last year. He was LDS and was known for his life-long service in the church. He was married to his wife for over 45 YEARS and had 5 children. Anyways, I was thinking to myself how nice it would be to have such a successful husband, but was surprised at something she said. She wrote, "I have often said I am grateful that there was never an occasion when we both wanted a divorce at the same time." LOL! Do you love that? Ah, I love it. Have you ever felt like that? I don't know why, but thinking about this has made our hard days more bearable for some reason. It's comforting to know billionaires have tough marriages too sometimes.
Soo, just to be totally clear (hint hint Lolohea haha) I love being married to Wayne, but our marriage is FAR from perfect (the rest of you are like, "Yeah. Duh!" ha ha). We are both extremely imperfect people TRYING to become more perfect together. . . and some days it is fun and awesome and other days it seems like a totally impossible task. Hopefully, we'll keep growing, improving and loving each other more and more everyday. There. I hope that wasn't too much drama hanging out.:)
ps. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this talk about Eternal Marriage (especially the last part about the silverware) from conference a few years ago. Read it if you need a pickmeup or a little guidance in your own marriage. Heaven knows I do! :)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
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12 comments:
loved the post! agree agree agree on everything you said. i could go on forever (esp if it's a bad day) ranting about my hubby BUT hallelujah those times come far in between the better times/days. we're 2 imperfect people (enough said). i really like that gail miller said that - why is that comforting to me? LOL... anyways, just thought i'd comment b/c your post was something always in my head but as usual you choice of words are a lot better than mine! love you mar!
Lol I LOVE that quote! "Didn't want a divorce at the same time," hahahaha.
P.S. My phone hasn't been working properly, but we get back tomorrow! :)
Oh Mary, My hubby wanted to come by and bring you some more Cinnabons because he felt so bad for the Rugby disaster.I had a nice discussion the whole way home about the whole situation. I'm SORRY and hope all is good in the hood. He is grounded from Wayne until you say otherwise...lol. WE LA-LA-LOVE YOU GUYS!!Let me know if you need anything :)
oh my gosh, i love this post. finally, someone brave enough to post something like this. i've been wanting to do something like this, but could never find the words. you did it perfectly. this is also very comforting to know that other people go through HARD times as well and that the word divorce actually comes up too. haha. i know that's a horrible, horrible thought to have. especially since ive experienced the pain that comes from a divorced family, but the fact that i have that thought once in a while is scary. i mean i cant believe i can think that, even knowing how horrible it really is. lol. but the fact is, it's true. marriage isn't easy and it really takes humility and the biggest of all SERVICE! I've learned that being selfless (instead of selfish) is one of the keys to a happy marriage (among other things) lol. anyways, great post! and it's SO true we always only talk about the good things on here. haha! (unfortunately though, my journal's been getting all the negative lately. haha) maybe i will get the courage to post something kinda like this one day. if i could just find the words and if my husband could not take it personally. (ugh! i already know he'd get mad if i posted anything negative. whatever.) lol.
and this comment is ridiculously too long. why do i always leave such LONG comments??
oh i love you guys!! so nice to know i'm not the only one:)
sarana - amen. good thing i wrote this on a GOOD day. . . or i could go on and on too. lol
line - can we go pool tomorrow?? jet lag shmet lag! haha
candice - oh my goodness! no worries!! you guys are so sweet. rocky is so funny. for reals no worries!
crystal - i love when your comments are long! it's so true! i can't believe i bring up the d-word . . . but it comes up! ha ha thanks for understanding (and i'm hoping wayne does too when he reads this ha ha)
love you girls!
i tell david everyday I'm going to divorce him if he doesn't clean the kitchen or pick up after himself. haha. jk. but i love what u said, we are two imperfect people trying to be perfect. i've got that down, now im just waiting for david. =) thanks for the post... i think u two are PERFECT for each other. love you guys!
Really great! A really great post. I love that divorce part, so classic:-D I love when people blog about imperfections, its great to be able to relate. I believe in an 'imperfect perfect' relationship, it's so true, lol!
Thank you. Really, this was just what I needed to read at this very moment. So, thank you.
I still love your Imperfectly perfect family! I posted a blog just for you...you know you were dying for some kind of update anyway. hahaha LOVE YOU GUYS!
I love it when people are honest on blogs. Marriage is definitely not easy. I'm just like you--only post the good on our blog. That is because (like Crystal) my husband would probably have a cow and divorce ME if I said anything negative on our blog. ;)
I love this. It sounds weird, but it is sometimes encouraging to know that others go through hard times as well...makes me feel less isolated, more like whatever we might be struggling with is normal.
Thanks for being brave and posting this.
I needed it :)
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