I was watching Oprah one day and she said something that surprised me. She said she has NO regrets . . . not a SINGLE one. I remember thinking, "Wow. That would be amazing to not have made any mistakes or bad decisions to regret. I wish I could live like that." Upon further thought, however, I've had an AHA moment (there's some Oprah lingo for ya lol). Living a life with no regrets is less about the mistakes you make and more about the way you choose to learn from them.
In November 2007, one of my best friends, Titi, got married in Hawaii and I DIDN'T GO! Yes, I can say that Malia was a newborn . . . a VERY colicy newborn, she had a bad ear infection that week and I was STILL healing from a bad delivery - but honestly, those reasons did little to comfort me when thinking about what I was missing. In 2004, when I came home from my mission, I changed my major from English to Social Work (a great major, just not my passion). I had great reasons for that too at the time, but I soon realized it was the simply the wrong decision for me. Simply put, I've always thought of myself as a somewhat smart girl (hehe), but I've made my share of bad decisions that I regret. Thankfully, I don't think I've made any ginormous, life-changing or irreversable mistakes, but still - I've made some I'm sorry for. After years of thinking about certain past events in this manner however, I've decided to make a change.
Haha!
As I've tried to do this I've been able to realize the blessings I have because of GOOD decisions I've made - most importantly, Wayne and my children. I think sometimes my concentration was just a little skewed and I dwelled on stupid things instead of valid things. It's like not seeing the forest for the trees - sometimes focus is taken off the important stuff to the stuff that ISN'T (in my case, my regrets)! With effort, I know any thoughts of regret (however big or small they are) can be replaced with an attitude of gratitude and optimism AND blessings WILL be realized.
Sheesh. I apologize for the inspirational-speaker/life-analyzer-wannabe I've turned into. haha Just had to get that all off my chest.
9 comments:
AMEN! I feel exactly the same way about many things in my life, and you're right: GET OVER IT! Thanks for the great post to start off the day. =)
Wow, sounds like a testimony meeting up in here...Usher singing in the background "these are my confessions.." lol jk
Very true, life is too short to be dwelling on the past when you can make the present and future positive, fun and meaningful. Hip Hip Hooray Go MARY!!!
Great thought there Mary, Amen sistah. I really like this post and thank you for sharing.
I love this post, Mar. You know, I've always heard people talk about living with no regrets and I never agreed. When I hear "I have no regrets," I've always thought that people meant, "I would rather not be sad about anything so I'm not going to acknowledge that I made a mistake." And to that, I would always think, no, that's totally wrong. If you don't acknowledge that you made a mistake, then you'll repeat that mistake and make related new ones. But your post has changed my mind. I think what you're saying - and maybe Oprah - is that living with no regrets means that you're not going to beat yourself up about the past. Living with no regrets means that you'll act differently if the occasion repeats itself, but you're going to get on with life. here's something that George H. Brimhall said, I just read it yesterday: "Be bigger than your mistakes." I think that is more what living with no regrets means. And now that I've written a book here, I think I can start a life coaching business. If you want to buy my course, I'll give you a scholarship :) love you mar!
I've come to realize that you can't change the past so there is no sense in dwelling on it! If you think about all the what ifs in life you'll go crazy, second guessing everything! I enjoyed your post!
wow. great post mary!! i guess ive always misunderstood that saying. there are definitely things i regret doing in my past and so whenever i heard that saying 'i have no regrets' i always thought in my mind that is so not me and never will be, although i really wish i could say that. unfortunately i cant. there are things i still beat myself up about though. quite a few things. i always wish i could go back. in fact i still think that a lot. but the sad truth is i cant so you are right. i should really stop thinking about those things and focus that energy on now and the future. this is a very hard topic for me, but i, like you, will try to change. :) thanks for the great post!!!
Love this!
LOL don't apologize, Mary. This is a great post! I should write one like this because I have a bad habit of dwelling on things that should've or could've been. I.e. I could've been at my prepregnant weight already if I didn't gain a ridiculous amount, lol. But you are right--spending time on regretting and wishing only leaves little time for moving forward... So here's to a better us! :)
I love this post, Mary. You are exactly right about regrets and learning from mistakes and moving on. Can I totally quote you in my RS lesson this Sunday? I'm serious!
Post a Comment